Tell me

Is it better to choose not to accept a situation, even if this decision won't change anything?

I have come to the place of acceptance. Not that I believe that it is right, but simply that I know that the way I feel won't change anything, and sometimes it's easier to live when one has attempted to come to terms with every part of life. The good and the bad. Or to simply realize that it may not be all that bad! Maybe it's perception... the way we choose to perceive something...

Life feels easier to cope with when we choose to look for the good. I could choose to be bitter, and I have, yet this is easier. I am not accepting the sin committed, but I have to look beyond that. I don't know if I am right, however, I do know that it feels right. I can love, regardless of the past. I can be happy.

Wishing...

Hmm... what to do... I do not know.

I wish my writing was as creative as it used to be. At least in my opinion it was. =D Now it's just boring and simple. Letters, words, void originality. If lyrics were inspiring to write for yourself, I would have written a novel of words, genius, and learning. However, this is not so. I am left with the ordinary. The lacking of interest, and I can't do more. I can't muster up within myself what was felt before. I had understood life, and why I ask these questions, but now, I don't. I can't figure it out, and I can't write it out. Understand? Of course you don't! I don't have a topic, and I stray from my thesis, if I even had one. Is this even about writing? I doubt it... It's about LIFE. I want to be this way. I can't even reveal this to my head, because it's only my heart that can make sense of it all. Does the sun shine even when I ask it not to? YES! IT DOES! So when, may I ask, will the sun shine of my heart? When, dare I inquire, will this all make sense? Why did this happen, just as my heart was ready to move out? And in the insignificance of it all, I find my feet stopped. I cannot move until I know.... but then where's my faith? But I need some sort of instruction, right? Dare, puke, and I move, light pending, upon the future. Help me? Enlighten me.

You explore my meaning.

This pain

It's a heart missing what it wants. It's a vacant place, with the thing to fill not able to be found. It's a girl's worst nightmare, and a haunting current reality.

And I am losing another friend. It sucks. I can't pretend that it doesn't. I won't.
So you said I'm not alone, but then I am left lonely. What now?

All I wonder is if there is actually one who will ever want to be my friend, not just have it end up that way.


Let me know when the sun rises again, and I will gladly live.

The Verdict Is In

The answer is no.

How am I supposed to believe that they're all wrong?

Sometimes it sucks

Because I am not 1st (after God) in anyone's life. I don't know, but my opinion never carries much weight.

I'm am not trying to throw a pitty fest. I just desire to be a little more important sometimes... not blown off again.

I want to be worth it.

Even though I know God thinks that I am, He "can't" come hug me.
What ever happened to unconditional love?

I love the way you understand the way you love the way you were when no one was looking
That you were beautiful and you were worth it all and you were everything I need
You captured my attention did I mention I think you're beautiful darling

Fire Fall Down

I know that You’re alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I sing to glorify
Your holy Name
Jesus Christ

You bought my life with the
Blood that You shed on the cross
When You died for the sins of men
And You let out a cry
Crucified now alive in me

These hands are Yours
Teach them to serve as You please
And I’ll reach out desperate to see
All the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in You

I’ll never be the same
No I’ll never be the same

‘Cause I know that You’re alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I sing to glorify
Your holy Name
Jesus Christ

You’ve changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In You I’m blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of You

Your fire fall down
Fire fall down
On us we pray
As we seek
Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

What am I to do?

I don't know what to tell you. I can't make sense of the things that I have heard. I can't bring peace. I am not ready. I can't make this choice. Being numb to all emotion would be so much easier.

Truth? Can I know? It wasn't supposed to happen. It shouldn't be this way. I awake shaking, because my heart is torn, and I don't know which way to turn. My dreams lay in turmoil, and I can't do this. Where is the peace I once knew? And the joy?

I can't count on my heart. I don't know who to trust. Too many voices, too many opinions. Tell me why I shouldn't run and hide. No help. Just You. And then I doubt myself...

But I can't run. What good would that do? Of everything I've been told, I know I cannot run.

So what can I do? I need God. I need peace. I wish He could hug - I would sit in His arms and tell Him of everything. He would listen and love, and then He would speak. I would have the perfect wisdom, because it would be from the mouth of God. He knows who is right and who is wrong, and He could tell me who to trust. If it were only that simple...