"The haunting of nothing plagues me. I have felt nothing - the numbness that invades. It was a time when I felt hopeless, but I had to carry on for the sake of those around me. There were still those that mattered... that the nothingness hadn't taken away yet, and for them I kept moving. Although my future seemed bleak, I wanted more for them. So I moved on, day after day, week after week, month after month... not expecting anything out of life... just living, lifeless. Maybe it wasn't even sadness... it was..... nothing.
And in the middle of this, I found something that I cared about. Most people probably wouldn't understand why I found such hope in this... person. He was the epitomy of everything that I wasn't able to become. He was real, but hopeful. His music spoke of the loneliness that I felt night after night, but made me believe that "this too shall pass." Don't misunderstand, I know that this is just a man... however, his art lead me back to true hope (found in my Love), and out of the nothingness."
I had forgotten how some things came to be, but journaling has proven its worth. I will carry this year with me forever, no doubt. It was bleak at times, and I never felt more alone... but I never learned so much in one year either. I grew up more than I thought I could... and I'm sure it will be helpful in the coming years to know that I can face loneliness because I have the Lord with me.. and I know that when everyone else moves on, He will remain
No comments:
Post a Comment