I knew it when...

I knew it when you gave me my mother, the most beautiful and loving woman I have ever known.

I knew it when you sang to me at night, and counted each of my tears that fell in the desperation and loneliness.

I knew it when you made sure I still had something to hold onto in the numbness, even though you knew it wouldn't be you.

I knew it when you lifted the veil off of my face, and kissed each of the scars I hid underneath.

I knew it when you took my pain and sorrows, and stole the screams from my mouth to make them your own.

I knew it when you came back to get me, again and again, even when I ran away from you and my freedom, back to my bondage.

I knew it the day that I realized that you held my heart all along, and protected it from the world set out to destroy me.

I knew it when I felt my heart ripped to shreds, trying to love the one who hated me for it.

I knew it when you told me what who I am right now, imperfections and all, was more than worth it.

I knew it the day I felt you beside me, wrapping your arms around me and promising to never leave.

I knew it the day you said "Ask me for what you want," and then gave it to me.

I knew it when I cried for 3 days because I realized he didn't know it.

I knew it the day that you told me to make sure I didn't make it about anyone else but you.

I knew it the day that he showed enthusiasm, even if it was "only because of the cold."

I knew it the day that she understood, and the day you showed me a part of your plan.

I knew it the day he made the decision, even a promise he could barely keep.

I knew it the day that you said to stay still, and wait in faith for you to arrive.

I knew it the day that I fell apart, wanting what you wished to hold back.

I knew it the day that I remembered my fear, and you tried to make me confident.

I knew it when he found the house, and the movie ended with lines too perfectly imperfect to not be human.

I knew it when I realized that I cared for a glorious human, instead of the perfect robot-man who I believed would be the only one who could ever reach me.

I know it every time I look at the stars. Each one calls my name, each one seeks my heart. and then when I heard the words "I want to know that you hung the stars in the sky, so on lonely nights I would know your presence..." and I knew that it was true.

I knew it the day that I ended up under the stars again, in the cold, on the first night of winter. To him it was cliche; to me, it was ironic. I don't think YOU know how to do cliche.

I knew it the day I saw that it was all worth it. Every heartache and struggle I face will bring me back to you. I have never been so sure. Now that I stand where I once shook, I can say that yes, indeed, it's worth it. I have never known a love like this.

And I know it today, because I can't end this list. In no universe could I ever sum up the ways that you have shown me, the times I have realized it.

And this is it, this is all I know: Though I am undeserving, I know that He loves me still.