I'm trying...

to be healed.

I think after all this past year, I've realized that I've been broken.  But it's okay, because I will recover.

I have to acknowledge that I'm not alright.  I'm not perfectly okay.  My dad, my church, and many other things have destroyed my confidence, but I'm slowly gaining it back.  I wrote yesterday in my journal "Why do I not believe that God in me is as great as God in someone else?" and I think I'm beginning to process the answer.  Oddly enough, question I asked can also function to answer my fear: God in me is as great as God in someone else.  It's just true.

So I'm working on knowing who I am, and knowing how to live that way.  Even though I don't always feel like I have the permission I want to attempt to do something great or worthwhile, I know that God in me is no less God than He is in those people that I have looked up to. 

“A person can receive only what is given them from heaven.  You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’  The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete.  He must become greater; I must become less.” -John 3:27-30


Yep.