Magic

This is the greatest new thing I've found. It can get rid of a pimple in one day! And I LOVE it.

It's the Boscia Willow Bark To-Go Breakout Treatment, found at Sephora. Seriously, it works. And it's gentle - I have sensitive skin.

Today... I'm a little sick of myself.

There is only one thing that I really wanted to do... and I couldn't make myself do it.  I don't know if it's better or worse this way.  I'm hoping worse because I didn't do it.  I hope God was preventing it.  

It is not that I regret not doing it, but more that I can't believe I didn't when it was all I really thought about for over a week now.  Strange, isn't it?  Oh well...

I need to make more time for reading, and journaling.  The problem is, I do those things at night usually, and when I go to bed so late, I don't have the time or the energy.  There is really no reason for it... I don't really have other responsibilities.  It's just... I can't make myself sometimes.  Sleep feels too lonely and quiet sometimes, and I don't like to think about the things that I remember when falling asleep.  So, I put it off, until I'm writing an online blog post at 1:30 in the morning, without having journaled nor read a single page today.

I need to fix my life.. I really do.

Brandon Heath

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was

Oh geez, I love music!  

Sounds can bring life!  I couldn't even begin to tell you how much of my life has been changed through music.

I can't explain it.  It's like... I can be waiting, waiting, waiting for the Lord to speak... but once I turn on that music, it's like I can suddenly live again!  He speaks!  There is not a doubt in my mind that God breathes life into some songs.   Artists can but a pen to paper, and compose the most beautiful melody, but it's God that touches it, and makes it transcend time and situations - a very small reflection of what He does.

It's like a wooden puppet Pinocchio vs the real boy.  

And in this I see promise for those who have yet to acknowledge the Lord's glory.  There are those who can write the music that is so much like it should be, as if Pinocchio has already gotten up, but is still quite obviously wooden.  But there is more to be realized.  They can create and inspire, but where is the God behind it?  Soon, I say.  You will acknowledge the master musician.

I have this picture in my head of God, and in the glory and light surrounding Him, there is also song.  Songs so unbearably glorious, that as the light of His glory would blind us, the music may deafen us.  But it doesn't stop there... it's like.. the most intense case of synesthesia known to man.  The music and light appeals to all our senses.  It engulfs our every ounce of awareness in the God's holiness.

Can you see it?

PEACE, SUMMER, JESUS, SOME HILLSONG, COUNTRY MUSIC..., BOYS

So, Renee went on a date with this guy - a good guy for once!  I'm so amazed!  I didn't think it would happen.

After my mom not allowing them to date, I began to wonder if that rule was in her best interest.  I don't necessarily believe that dating is the best thing for them, but I think that even without being "allowed" to, that's pretty much what they've been doing anyway.  Getting in relationships without anything official.  This way, my mom can evaluate the guy, and supervise their contact.  I want to be a part of my sisters' decisions.

Anyway, this new guy Renee is spending time with seems like a good guy.  I'm sure that as time goes on we'll get to know him better, especially if Renee is interested in him.  He's coming over tonight for dinner and to watch a movie.

Moving on....

I'm thinking about changing my major.  I'd like to say I knew for sure, but I don't.  Whatev!

And then, as always, there's that pressing matter of the him and the "what?"  But we'll ignore that now now ;)

I love peacocks and spider flowers, and the color blue.  Whales are fascinating, and I would love to go sailing.  I don't like 90 degree weather... and I need a haircut baddd.