So I was talking to Nicole last night about how we change over the years, and I really don't think that I've changed much since I was about 16. At that point, I pretty much knew who I was, and who I wanted to be. While small things and minor details have changed, that person, myself at 16, is pretty much who I still am today.

I feel like this might be true of me for a few reasons. The first of which is because I am very slow to change. As I go back and re-read some of the things I have written (even on this blog) over the years, I think I still feel largely the same as I did over the years. I am the same.

When I was 15, I made a list. On that list, I wrote down the characteristics of the kind of person that I wanted to be. Looking back on the list, it is kind of funny... but still it largely reflects the same questions I ask myself. This is some of it:


1) Actions/words/responses
-Behavior that is both appropriate and free
-Avoid immaturity
-Be sensitive to situations
2) Am I a reflection of Christ?
-Live in humility
-Serve those around me
-Show respect to those around me (especially in conversations)
-Love others, including enemies
-Honor my parents and sisters
3) Leadership?
-How should I influence others?
-Care for my relationships, individual persons
4) Personally
-Am I growing in my relationship with God?
-Am I growing in wisdom?
-Am I growing in passion?
-Am I facing struggles in my life?
5) As a future spouse/mother:
-Pray for my husband w/o making my future an idol
-Pray for my family
-Am I actively pursuing my future?
-Love children


I tried to make the list as comprehensive as possible, including all areas of life. After I made this list, I made another list of actions I could take to develop myself into being the person I wanted to be. I started cooking, cleaning, watching children, praying for patience, reading more, and trying to give all of my attention to someone when in conversation with them (instead of looking around/thinking about myself or other things).

I just thought that was interesting. I think I have always wanted to be the kind of person who builds people up, and who is nice to be around. However, I didn't want this to compromise my integrity or character.



Just some thoughts.... I really was a weird 15 year old.