What am I to do?

I don't know what to tell you. I can't make sense of the things that I have heard. I can't bring peace. I am not ready. I can't make this choice. Being numb to all emotion would be so much easier.

Truth? Can I know? It wasn't supposed to happen. It shouldn't be this way. I awake shaking, because my heart is torn, and I don't know which way to turn. My dreams lay in turmoil, and I can't do this. Where is the peace I once knew? And the joy?

I can't count on my heart. I don't know who to trust. Too many voices, too many opinions. Tell me why I shouldn't run and hide. No help. Just You. And then I doubt myself...

But I can't run. What good would that do? Of everything I've been told, I know I cannot run.

So what can I do? I need God. I need peace. I wish He could hug - I would sit in His arms and tell Him of everything. He would listen and love, and then He would speak. I would have the perfect wisdom, because it would be from the mouth of God. He knows who is right and who is wrong, and He could tell me who to trust. If it were only that simple...